It's been 12 days since I quit taking my birth control. The realization of taking something for 9.5 years and the effects it has on your body have set it. The routine of taking it every night after I brush my teeth makes me feel like I'm forgetting something before I go to bed and then I lay there thinking 'have i forgotten to do something' and then I think about it for far too long and have trouble falling asleep. Crazy, I know!
Valentine's Day became a sob fest. The hubs got me a super sweet card that made me cry a little and then some family issues came up and I cried for 20 minutes. Not just a little cry but a full blown out sob, the faucets were turned on as wide open as they would go and I couldn't breathe. DAMN HORMONES!!
My stomach has been hurting since Saturday night. I had no idea what was wrong, until Wednesday morning. I woke up and I didn't feel like eating, frankly I didn't feel like doing anything except going back to bed. As I sat down on the couch, to force breakfast down, my stomach and lower back hurt. I thought, 'oh I know this feeling, my uterus is being a BITCH!' My hubs described it best when asking about it, 'so it's like you're on your period, but you aren't?' EXACTLY the bod is missing all the hormones and I am cramping something terrible. I had forgotten what real period cramps felt like and since I'm not supposed to start for another 15 days I was expecting it. I hate this and I know I'm gonna miss my 2 day periods :(
My face looks like a mine field! I feel like I'm a freshman again having horrible break outs. WTF? I'm 28 years old (well almost) I should not be getting pimples like this.
I don't think I was ready for all this change just to have a baby. I can only imagine what I will be like once I'm actually pregnant. God I hope it's better than this.
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So speaking of God, yesterday was Ash Wednesday, the start of Lent. I am giving up sodas! no more for this chick :) need to get used to not drinking them since I won't be able to once I'm preggers, right?!
Anyway, I went to worship at work because one of my co-workers was preaching and I love listening to him. He started out talking about asking what was the one most important thing in your life. Gave the example, 'if your house is on fire and you had 30 seconds, what would you grab?'. He continued on with his sermon and this sentence stuck out and stayed with me, 'When you have a child, some primeval disposition is awakened in your soul. And like my parent's before me, I find myself willing to give anything for my children.' Got me thinking, at this very moment, the most important things to me are my hubs and the dogs. At some point (in the nearer future) that will change. Our primeval disposition will be awakened and the most important thing to us will be our child. I wonder if we would fight each other to save the babe if our house was on fire. haha
I think the thing to remember is how to distribute importance equally and not let one thing rule all the rest.
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